God I feel like such a loser. Why do I feel like this? Because the one that I thought would never hurt me, because she knew the hurt I had been through… caused me the worse pain ever. The pain of being lied to. Gee, it hurts and it has caused me to dislike – even maybe hate her for what she did. It is so heartbreaking to be betrayed and I do not like her. I know I should not have these thoughts towards her, but I do… in fact, I feel so mad, I want to do stupid things… maybe even evil things to make her pay for wronging me. Yes, I know we should love one another, but right now I cannot love her because she is so wrong for doing what she did to me. I trusted her so much, I guess that is not right to trust others with all of our hearts.
I also know I should love her as a Christian, but right now it is honestly hard to do because I have so much dislike for what she did and apparently said about things. Like for one, why does she think she does not owe me the truth? After all, I was with her during some of the hardest times in life. It is almost like she is a totally different person than I thought I knew? What is wrong here?
God, as I deal with this pain, help keep me sane… I know what she did was wrong, but I do not need to lose my mind due to her wrongs…
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