Prayer for guidience…

God, I know you say you love us and that in you we have all hope and a future even if things seem horrible. Also, I know that yo0u hold no wrongs against us when we confess our sins and repent (turn the other way). And you have compassion on those who fear you. So what is my problem? If I know that, then why do I feel so inadequate? Am I out of touch with you… or am I right where I need to be and just facing the attacks of the enemy telling me that my work for you is not good enough? God, I pray the prayer of Moses in Psalm 90… Let me see what you are best at and guide me in that direction. Let your love rest on me Lord, Confirm the work that I am to do for you. And yes affirm it when I am doing the work you desire me to do. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Do not Look!

Disability... why is it that some people treat people with disabilities as dirty... or even objects to be avoided? I mean honestly, what is so scary about someone with a physical or mental difference? It does amaze me still that parents tell their children to not talk with the young man who may walk with a limp due to cerebral palsy. Are they afraid of being embarrassed by the child asking the "what happened to you" question? More than likely the answer is yes… they may feel that the person with a disability might be placed in an awkward position…but most often the person with the disability would rather explain to the curious child, than to be stared at by the child (or adult) who has been trained to not talk with the disabled person.

To be honest, it is time that we as a society stop being afraid of people with differences. Yes, we are getting better, but we are not there yet. It takes time for a society to erase decade's worth of fear or ignorance of people with disabilities so that is why WE MATTER! Is here… to show the world that difference makers do come in all shapes and sizes.

what matters?

Life is interesting and as I sit here thinking about what matters... I tend to believe that what matters most is how we live life and how we look at things. Mainly the attitude that we have towards things that we can't control.
To me, our attitude towards the uncontrollable should be this, life happens and we should learn to roll with the punches... even if what happens is not going to make us happy or put us in a position that is bad for us. Some things that may hurt at first, are meant to be... even though we don't like it. Life is too short to be angry or upset for too long. We need to learn to trust that things that seem bad, always tend to work out in the end... Life goes on and we need to learn to let things roll off our shoulder and trust that whatever happens is for the best.

a scare...

Well I know it's been a while since I posted, but there is a good reason. I had a heath scare, Basically I passed out while volunteering at the Respite Camp I volunteer at and was out of it for 5 days - turned out that I had a blood clot and I had fallen while playing kickball. It was a scare, but it happened. Also, last night I was going back to bed after having been in bathroom and I passed out in the floor (thank God it turned out that I just had a fainting spell last night - probably due to taking sleeping pill yesterday evening... I pray) Anyway, I was out of commission for about 2 weeks after the first instance - and blood clot removal.... but am doing better now and prayerfully I will only get better from here on out.
So, now what? I plan on taking it easy as I recover from the injury and maybe get some assistance to go back to UALR in the summer with money for disability assistance (with head injury/blood clot maybe I qualify for it easier now...) and maybe I will wait until fall... it all depends on things.
Also, I plan on using this blog as more of a sounding board on disability issues as life goes on. hopefully, I can make a difference with the postings I give as life matters to me. Maybe I can even get a video camera and do some video blogs on disability issues.
May life be good to you and hope you have a great day!
Yekim

Tobacco tax questions…

Some thoughts today as I sit up here in the gallery of the Arkansas State Capital House Chamber awaiting Governor Beebe's State of the State address. First, I understand the need in Arkansas for a statewide trauma system, and I know that UAMS is an excellent hospital for coordinating this trauma center. However, I do not understand the need for a second campus as the current campus has many areas that could be transformed to create the main trauma center and they can work with current hospitals to create regional centers in each corner of the state. In addition, you propose funding the trauma center with a 56 cent a pack increase on cigarettes, while at the same time wanting to decrease the grocery tax by an additional penny. I might be mistaken, but have you not stood on the grounds of eliminating the grocery tax because it harms the working poor? I know that people who use tobacco products might be the easiest to tax for this trauma center, but it may not be the best group. I suggest this because as I see it as taxes and programs on smoking cessation increase, the amount of potential revenue from this tax will decrease. Governor Beebe also gave the figure of $620 million a year to take care of people who do use tobacco products; however, he did not mention projected revenue figures on from the proposed tax increase. Therefore, I want to use this blog to ask Governor Beebe to elaborate on projected revenue figures for your proposal. And if the number of tobacco users decline due to the tax increase below projected figures, how would you make up the difference in budgeted amounts? Thank you!

word of the day :-)

elocution \el-uh-KYOO-shuhn\, noun:
the art of speaking or reading clearly in public, including gestures, pronunciation, and tones

My Story

Sticks and Stones

© Michael W. Thornton

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words Of course, we all know the silly little expression that we cried on the playground to stop the bully, from attacking us with words. However, is it true? Will words never hurt us? Of course not! Words can literally cut through us and make us feel like we are nobody! They slice through us like a razor thin blade held up by the great adversary of our life. I should know how painful words feel. You see, when I was a baby, I had Spinal Meningitis, and spent several months in Arkansas Childrens Hospital recovering from its effects on my young life. Therefore, you can assume correctly that I did not have a great start to my childhood. However, the problems did not go away after I started school. Some of my classmates figured out that I was different then they were, so they started calling me the dreaded R word!

Retard! Oh how that terrible that word made me feel. I knew that I was a little different but retarded. No, I was not retarded! I had a slight speech impediment (and still do, but I can live with it), and maybe I did not learn as quickly as they did, but I do not consider myself retarded. In fact, I do not consider any person who is slower than average retarded; they just think and act in a different way than normal people.

Retard! I cannot remember the first time someone used that word when talking to me, but I do remember the hurt that I felt every time I heard it. To be truthful here, it really felt like a ton of bricks no worse, more like manure being dumped on me. It was as if they were saying, Youre not worthy to even be on the same playground with us! Get away you little idiot! Gee, how small that word made me feel.

Mom, why do they pick on me? That question, I asked numerous times when I was growing up. In fact, I still question why they picked on me. Did it really matter? Did they achieve their objective of making me feel like a worthless soul? No, of course not! If anything they did achieve was to give me a sense of knowing that I was different from some kids, but that was what made me unique!

Retard! Every time I type that word here, brings out the pain that I felt back then. Oh, how this stung me deep down inside. In fact, the more I reflect on it, the angrier I get. In reality, I wish that I could go back in time and tell those little punks off! Better yet, I want to demonstrate to them how awful it really felt by calling them some names of my own. However, would that really make a difference?

For some people, Retard may not be the word that haunts them like a Pit Bull who has not had a meal in many days! Their word might be loser, moron, nobody, or worse yet it may be the saying, You make me sick! It really does not matter what bullies say to put people down, all words will hurt when they are said in a harmful way. Besides being harmful, words may also be positive in a persons life. I remember a number of people telling me that I can do anything I set my heart to do, and not to let anyone tell me that I could not do it. You are not what others tell you who you are; you are who you make yourself to be. It was my option to decide, Was I going to let the two or three morons tell me that I was not a worthy person, or was I going to let my life be determined by who I chose to become? Words truly do make a difference in a persons life.

Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can be as beautiful as a single red rose in a vase. I always look for the good in all people and say nice things about them. Words can either lift people up or bring them down why not say something positive about everyone you encounter today. Even your worse enemy needs to hear a positive word today, so why not be nice to them the next time you meet. It just might make a big difference in their life.